Being a parent is hard. The hardest thing I have ever done. It’s messy. I am tired ALL OF THE TIME. I question every single decision I make. Just when I think I make the right one, someone gives me their opinion. Unsolicited, of course.
Too much of the time, we judge other parents. We assume that just because it is not the way we would have done something, then it must be wrong. We don’t stop to think that while it is wrong for us, it might be right for them.
For example, homeschooling. Homeschooling has been the BEST decision I have ever made for my kids. Let me rephrase that. Homeschooling has been the BEST decision our family has made together. We didn’t force our children to be homeschooled. They asked. We gave them the option. They chose it. We continued to ask them if this is what they wanted. They did. We have asked about next year, and guess what, they still want it.
Is homeschooling for everyone? Nope. But, neither is public school. I talked about this in one of my very first blog posts. You can read it here. My kids are learning. ALOT. They are learning beyond their grade level. We already have met, and surpassed, our hours requirement for the year. We only have a couple more days left to meet the day requirement. Yet, we have scheduled over two weeks beyond this. Why? Because they love learning. There are many hours that we have schooled that I haven’t even counted. I am not counting PE or recess. I am only counting the core subjects Reading, Writing, Math, Science, Social Studies, Spelling.
Despite it working, and working well. I have people who question my choices. They tell me how it isn’t best for my children. They tell me children need to face their problems. And they’re right. Absolutely. However, when your kid can’t learn at school because they are being bullied and they are making themselves sick with anxiety about it, how is it benefiting them? Do you honestly think that making my daughter stay in a classroom with a kid who tells her that someone is going to bring a gun to school and shoot her is helping her learn.
She has the rest of her life to learn to deal with bullies, but only one chance to learn what is being taught in the classroom. So, she’s studying dividing fractions in class, and Sally just told her this. I bet you she isn’t going to learn about fractions that day. She is going to stare at the door. Her belly is going to hurt. Her breathing is going to be shallow. She isn’t going to care that when you divide fractions you have to invert and multiply. But, guess what? At home, when she isn’t worrying about that gun being brought to school, she cares about that fraction.
The choices we make, are ours to make. How we choose to handle them, shouldn’t be judged by others. This week I have seen so much judgement. So many people who have ridiculed other parents over the way they choose to raise their kids.
To the mom who has watched your daughter be bullied relentlessly and you chose to take a stand, good for you! You taught your daughter you will always have her back. No matter what. There will be other opportunities to let them deal with it on their own.
To the mom who has watched your daughter be bullied relentlessly and you chose to let them deal with it in their own way, good for you! You taught your daughter how to stand up for herself. There will be plenty of other opportunities for you to have her back.
To the mom who had to miss opening day because you had to work a double shift, good for you! You taught your son that sometimes we have to sacrifice because we have a responsibility to others. You will be at all of the other games, and you made sure someone was there to support him.
To the mom who was able to be at opening day, because you called in to work, good for you! You taught your child that family is everything. You may have to miss a game here or there, but you will make sure someone is there to support him.
I am guilty of judging others. I always have. It’s a product of our society, but we need to stop. We need to stop judging parents who are legitimately trying their best. There are always more than one way to look at a situation, and if we step back and look at it from all views, we might see that everyone is right.