I Messed Up

I messed up this week.

I got angered by a comment that someone said.

I made my son cry because I got aggravated after repeating directions 10 times.

I took a nap on the couch instead of cleaning the house.

I snapped at my husband for no reason.

In every aspect of my life, I messed up.  I was tired, grouchy, and stressed.  I made big deals out of things that shouldn’t have been.  I focused on these mess-ups.  I replayed them a hundred times, making them seem so much bigger than they should have been.  At times, they consumed my every thought. 

However, when I took a step back, I gave myself permission to see the bigger picture.

I got angered by a comment that someone said.  Yet, I didn’t say anything back.  I fumed about it a little, but then I began to pray for that person.  Genuinely pray.

I made my son cry because I got aggravated after repeating directions 10 times.  I used a tone that was harsher than normal.  However, afterwards, I stopped, and redirected myself.  I took the time to speak calmly and rationally to him.  I hugged him, but most importantly, I apologized.  I showed him that adults make mistakes, and that when we make a mistake, we should acknowledge that. 

I took a nap on the couch instead of cleaning the house.  I cuddled on the couch with my son and watched television.  There will be a day that my house will be clean, but also empty.  I have lived that life before and I know how quickly the years fly.  I showed my son that he was more important than the mountain of chores that I have.

I snapped at my husband for no reason.  Or at least to him, it may have seemed like no reason.  He called when I was taking food out of the oven.  I tried to answer the phone and grab the food and I burned my hand.  He took it in stride, and when I explained why I snapped, he checked on me.  I have focused on that one moment of my rudeness that I didn’t stop to look at everything else this week.  I have ironed his clothes, a chore I despise.  I have cooked his dinner and helped get his lunches ready.  I have held his hand and cuddled on the couch. I have made him laugh and asked about his day.

In every aspect of my life, I messed up, but I also soared.  I spend most of my time doubting myself, and not enough time encouraging myself.  

I messed up this week, but in those mistakes, I gained something invaluable.  I gained the ability to see the entire picture, not just a pixel. I gained the ability to forgive myself and move on. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s