I messed up this week.
I got angered by a comment that someone said.
I made my son cry because I got aggravated after repeating directions 10 times.
I took a nap on the couch instead of cleaning the house.
I snapped at my husband for no reason.
In every aspect of my life, I messed up. I was tired, grouchy, and stressed. I made big deals out of things that shouldn’t have been. I focused on these mess-ups. I replayed them a hundred times, making them seem so much bigger than they should have been. At times, they consumed my every thought.
However, when I took a step back, I gave myself permission to see the bigger picture.
I got angered by a comment that someone said. Yet, I didn’t say anything back. I fumed about it a little, but then I began to pray for that person. Genuinely pray.
I made my son cry because I got aggravated after repeating directions 10 times. I used a tone that was harsher than normal. However, afterwards, I stopped, and redirected myself. I took the time to speak calmly and rationally to him. I hugged him, but most importantly, I apologized. I showed him that adults make mistakes, and that when we make a mistake, we should acknowledge that.
I took a nap on the couch instead of cleaning the house. I cuddled on the couch with my son and watched television. There will be a day that my house will be clean, but also empty. I have lived that life before and I know how quickly the years fly. I showed my son that he was more important than the mountain of chores that I have.
I snapped at my husband for no reason. Or at least to him, it may have seemed like no reason. He called when I was taking food out of the oven. I tried to answer the phone and grab the food and I burned my hand. He took it in stride, and when I explained why I snapped, he checked on me. I have focused on that one moment of my rudeness that I didn’t stop to look at everything else this week. I have ironed his clothes, a chore I despise. I have cooked his dinner and helped get his lunches ready. I have held his hand and cuddled on the couch. I have made him laugh and asked about his day.
In every aspect of my life, I messed up, but I also soared. I spend most of my time doubting myself, and not enough time encouraging myself.
I messed up this week, but in those mistakes, I gained something invaluable. I gained the ability to see the entire picture, not just a pixel. I gained the ability to forgive myself and move on.