Well, it happened. My daughter suffered her first broken heart. It’s a rite of passage, but one you hope your child never has to endure.
This endeavor has been a learning experience for the both of us. I wish I could say that we both handled it perfectly, but the truth is, we didn’t. She kept messaging him wanting to know why. We talked about how she should have just said okay and been done with it. It was unchartered territory, and we will do better next time. What matters is that she knows I will be here for her, as will her daddy. We both will provide her the emotional support that she needs and will help her process her emotions.
She has sworn off boys for a while, much to her daddy’s relief. Although, she does keep talking about this cute boy at church that sits by her sometimes. She cried, blasted breakup songs, journaled, ate ice cream, and now she is fine. We survived it.
During it all, I kept reminding her that she was beautiful, kind, sweet, caring, and loving. I knew that her fragile, pre-teen self-esteem needed to hear this. I knew she was wondering why and trying to find fault in herself. I remember being a pre-teen and evaluating myself for faults and finding plenty of them. I do not want this for her.
I want her to know she is beautiful in every way. Both inside and outside.
I want her to know that there are going to be broken hearts, but someday (hopefully far, far away) someone will come along and make every broken heart worth it.
I want her to know that ice cream can cure most anything, and if it doesn’t at least it tasted great.
I want her to see her value as an individual.
I want her to be brave enough to stand up for what she knows it right.
I want her to remember the heart ache, so that someday when she is the one who is a breaking a heart, she can remember to show compassion. (Unless the guy is an absolute jerk, in which case she will just show him the door 😊)
I want her to know that her daddy and I are here for her and will always do our best to ease her pain.
However, the learning isn’t just on her. I want my boys to learn as well.
I want my boys to look at this experience and see that their actions have consequences.
I want them to treat their future girlfriend with respect and kindness.
I want them to be men of their word.
Her heart may have broken, but it didn’t shatter. It will heal. She will find another boyfriend, she may break his heart and we will learn from that as well.